Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Twally Syndrome

TWally Syndrome, Or maybe it's Warget syndrome. The inability to enter a super center such as Wal-Mart or Target without forking over at least 100 bucks.

How do they do it? I go in with a short list and end up spending hundreds on other stuff we really need. How can we possibly go through that much food? Then most of the time when you get home you realize you have forgotten something really important like baby wipes or juice. When you have to go back to get another item after you just spent that much is really adding insult to injury.

We don't eat out. It's too expensive. You would think our food bill would be so much less with making all our meals. We can go shopping and spend 200 on food and within a week the food is gone. There are tumbleweeds blowing around in the cabinets. Where'd it all go? I know we have kids but they are so skinny. How do they get away with eating that much?

I am not skinny. My metabolism is slower than a slug in a salt pile. I don't have a very good diet but I don't eat that much. More often I forget or don't have time to eat. Then when I am about to pass out I eat what is leftover from the kids. Stuff that adults should never, under any circumstances, eat. Things like PB&J, Mac & Cheese, Chicken Nuggets, fine for kids but in adults they cause some kind of chemical reaction which results in too much Badunkadunk. I know Sir Mixalot likes big butts but lets not get crazy.

So it is a mystery. I know the food comes into the house because I put it in the cabinets. What happens after that I can only guess. Whether it's our locust children, goblins, or those pesky spiders again, something is eating us into a huge grocery bill. I should own stock in Target.

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