Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Wow a lot of @!#$%&* can happen in a day

My last post was only about 15 hours ago. A lot of stuff has happened since then. Actually I guess I should more accurately say a lot has changed since then because really only one thing happened. Jeff got fired. I guess we won't have to figure out child care issues now.

He went in this morning and everyone was happy to have him back. He worked half the day then administration called him into the office and told him they were letting him go. His very normal response was "WHY?" they said they didn't feel they needed a reason because he is still considered a probationary employee as he hasn't worked there a year yet.

How sad is that? Not even the decency to give him a reason. Well, it is because they don't have a legal reason. They can't technically fire him for getting hurt on the job doing some dumb ass task that they ordered him to do. Something I am pretty sure was not part of his job description. Not that I can verify that because they never gave him a copy of his job description even though they are required to.

I am very angry about this and if you know me you know it takes a lot to make me angry. I was working under the misguided assumption that they would act in a fair and professional way and I was very sadly mistaken. I keep going forth into the world with blind hope that people aren't really so bad. They want to do what's right and just and every thing's fine and rainbows and butterflies and such. Then I get smacked in the head with reality. A lot of people just suck. A lot of situations are not fair. Usually you can't do squat to change things.

You would think I would learn but I am one of those perpetually positive and hopeful people who keeps thinking a few bad apples won't spoil the whole world. I keep picking myself back up and trying again to find a happy place. Wow, what a sap I am.

I am very sad and worried because we can't live on my income alone. We have no savings and we are behind on everything because I have been out of work for 3 months with my broken arm. I just started back a week ago. I work at the same facility. I am concerned that they will fire me as well. It seems to be a disturbing trend. If you get hurt or find out you are pregnant during your first year they fire you rather than pay for benefits for someone who will be out on leave. I am not sure how they are getting away with it. I am not sure how to stop them.

I have a meeting with the HR director in the morning because I asked about getting the money owed me from disability insurance. Perhaps they plan to cut me loose as well. I didn't get hurt on the job so I haven't really cost them much so far. I haven't gotten a pay check in 3 months. Now that I am pursuing disability payments and they may have to pay me something I would not be surprised if they fire me too.

I am tired. We thought we were finally back on track but the rug has been pulled out from under us again. That always seems to happen. We are constantly saying when this happens we will be able to get caught up but then something else comes up to derail us. It just makes me very tired.

I am sick of being a disappointment. I try so hard to be a good person and do nice things. I try to do good in the world by volunteering and working hard and raising my kids to be good people. I always try to help others who may be in need and I don't ask for anything in return. I just want to make enough money to feed the kids and pay the basic bills. No cable TV or internet provider payments here.

I do not desire material things. I have gone without many times. I have found creative ways to overcome not having a working phone or gas to heat water. I can make do but I need something to work with. I do not ever want to be a disappointment to my family and I feel I have been lately. I hate that we have to ask for help because we need to pay the water and electric bill. These are really the only necessities because I need them both to cook and give baths. I hate that my kids feel the anxiety that I try to hide.

We have a serious case of Charlie Brown syndrome that has been going on for years. Jeff is a good man who tries hard to do what's best and take care of his family but it ultimately results in failure through no fault of his own. He tried really hard to be perfect at this job because he needed it so badly and because I work there and he didn't want to cause any pressure for me or my sister who also works there. Everyone he worked with loved him. He loved working around the kids and didn't even complain about never getting lunch breaks. He came home exhausted every day because they kept adding tasks for him to do with no additional time to get them done. When he got hurt he only filled out an incident report because it is the rule. He did not plan to pursue it. He came into work the next day even though he was hurt. They made him leave work and see the doctor. They forced him to take sick leave then they fired him for it.

It's 6:30 am here now. I was only able to sleep for 3 1/2 hours. Now it's time to get the kids off to school and see about that meeting with HR. I will post an update later. Maybe things will start to look up but I am in a very Eeyore mood so I doubt it.

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