Today was Bobby's funeral. It was a really nice service and lots of people came. Cam and Kay don't really understand. Taylor does of course but he is pretty tight lipped about how he is feeling. He was upset during the service but he doesn't really want to talk about it yet. Cam knows that his Grandpa Bobby died, but I am not sure he really knows what that means. When I told him, the conversation went something like this.
You know Grandpa Bobby has been really, really, sick.
Grandpa that lives at the soda house, yeah I know he is sick. (They collect coca-cola items so Cam calls it the soda house)
He has been sick for a very long time and he died today.
Oh no. Can we make him all new again so I can see him?
Well, when someone dies the person goes up to heaven and their body is left behind. He won't be able to talk to you because he is in heaven.
I want to go to his house and see him.
You won't be able to see him with your eyes, but you will always be able to feel him with your heart.
If you feel sad, want to talk about it, or have questions you can always come talk to us about it.
OK. I have to go tell Dad.
And off he ran to tell Dad, "My Grandpa died. That means I won't see him at his house anymore."
After the funeral most of the family came over to our house to eat. It was good to see everyone and we played the slideshow of pictures we made.
I am really upset about experiencing this situation again. I am actually quite angry. Not at the smokers because I know it is an addiction and when they started they didn't really even know it was bad for you. I am angry at the system. Smoking causes people to die horrible, painful deaths. It causes non-smokers who happen to be around smokers to get sick. And still new people start smoking everyday. I don't understand it. I guess people think it won't happen to them. Or if they get sick they will be so old they won't care.
I have seen this first hand twice now. People who die from smoking related illness suffer. The people who love them suffer. My Grandpa was 62 my kids Grandpa was 63. They were not old. They were healthy, active, strong, men. Bobby operated machines on big construction sites. My Grandpa was an electrician on big construction sites.
Think about this. They hadn't reached typical retirement age yet. They weren't even old enough to use a senior citizens discount. If you are in your 20's right now and smoking that means you would only live 40 more years and that is just not enough time. People are waiting and having children later in life now. So if you smoke and wait to have kids in your late 30's you may die before they finish college. Before you get to see your grandkids. It just doesn’t make sense.
I hope that one positive thing from all this is hopefully my kids will never be smokers. I don't know how you could be after seeing someone die from COPD or throat cancer.
On a happier note – My favorite memory of Bobby:
Easter egg hunt in the backyard. Taylor, Heather and Morgan looking for eggs. All the adults were watching. We kept replacing the eggs in this one spot so Taylor would find one then turn around and another one would be there. It was funny, a beautiful day, and everyone was happy.
I love that Bobby loved when I would make my Grandma’s special mashed potatoes. It was his favorite part of meals at our house. He was a good old man who happened to have excellent taste. Thats why he surrounded himself with good people and enjoyed life.
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Bobby 7-19-44 1-28-08
Group picture Christmas
Moving earth
Karen and Bobby
Cretificate of appreciation for work at the Murrah Building site
Karen and Bobby
Bobby
Silly face
Wedding
I was in with a patient when I got the call. So I took a moment to get it together and then got back to work. I didn't tell anyone because we are so short staffed I didn't think I would be able to go home. A bit later my Mom called and I tried to tell her but I started to cry. My co-workers saw that I was upset and asked me what was going on. Then they covered my patient for me and sent me home. I work with some really great people.
Jeff was really glad to see me. My Mom came over and watched the kids so we could go over to the house. The funeral will be February 2nd.
For the 2nd time in two weeks I got some time off. It is sad that you have to be sick and infectious or have a death in the family to get a few days away from work.
The kids and I last saw Bobby at Christmas. We are so glad we had that time and that he was able to come for Thanksgiving. On Friday the 25th he lost consciousnes and did not wake up again. We are getting ready for the funeral. I helped Jeff make a slide show of pictures and citations from the city honoring the work Bobby did. One of his accomplishments was helping at the site of the Murrah building bombing by clearing debris and prepairing the site for the memorial.
His best accomplishment was being a great guy who loved his kids, grandkids, and his wife of 22 years. They met on Friday the 13th but they didn't let that deter them. They were neighbors and Karen decided to bring over a german chocolate cake she made. He said he was on a diet but she could go ahead a leave the cake anyway. I guess the rest is history.
We will miss him but we are glad he isn't suffering anymore.
Monday, November 5, 2007
More ups and downs
My father in law is doing much better and is actually back home now. We never expected that after the doctors said he would not leave the hospital. He spent some time in a extended care facility after the hospital but he is back home now.
Jeff has turned in a few applications and we are waiting to see who calls.
Taylor is sick with the stomach flu. Cameron finished his last dose of antibiotic today and then spiked another fever. He is starting to cough again and he is sleepy and his head hurts.
We will be calling the doctor in the morning.
My step Dad's brother passed away unexpectedly. Possibly a hunting accident. We are waiting to hear more.
My step Dad spent the day in the hospital with a nasty kidney infection.
We have MRSA and strep throat going around at work in addition to pneumonia.
If the huge brush pile isn't removed from the yard of our old house by, well, by yesterday we are gonna get a big fine from the city.
I am ready for a few quiet uneventful weeks. I am tired and I am tired of bad things happening.
On a lighter note, here are some random kid shorts from the day.
Sister figured out how to take off her diaper and has been doing so all day. We couldn't figure out where she was hiding them. Then Taylor sat down by the computer and found what is apparently now the dirty diaper storage shelf. The sliding tray on the desk where the keyboard would go if we weren't using a laptop.
This new hobby led to some interesting surprises around the house. She left a little pile of surprise on the floor in the family room. Luckily it was firm so it was easy to clean up. Cameron said it looked like a puppy. We were all a bit disturbed by that.
When I got home from work sister woke up and Cameron was already up because he was feeling sick. I decided to stick them both in the bath to try to bring Cam's fever down. After they got out sister peed all over the floor in the hallway and of course Cam walked right through it. Fun times!
I guess if you can come home from cleaning up after sick kids at work and then clean up more fluids from your own kids and still laugh about it things will be OK. When it's not funny anymore I will start to worry. Maybe I should worry that I think it is funny. Do all Moms find humor in such things? It must be a coping mechanism.
Update:
Cause of death was internal bleeding caused by injuries from falling out of a tree stand. He broke his pelvis and back. It's very sad.
Jeff had his follow up with the doctor today on his work injury. The doctor was very upset that he was fired. He said he has had other patients from that agency that had the same thing happen. He said he is submitting the paperwork for them to pay for 6 more sessions of PT and another MRI. The doctor said Jeff can not work in his current condition. The only possibility would be a desk job with absolutely no lifting. Even then he would need lots of breaks. So they have put in him a position of not being able to work. They aren't paying workers comp any longer because they fired him and he can't collect unemployment because he didn't work there long enough. The doctor asked if we have a lawyer yet. The whole situation sucks.
Jeff has turned in a few applications and we are waiting to see who calls.
Taylor is sick with the stomach flu. Cameron finished his last dose of antibiotic today and then spiked another fever. He is starting to cough again and he is sleepy and his head hurts.
We will be calling the doctor in the morning.
My step Dad's brother passed away unexpectedly. Possibly a hunting accident. We are waiting to hear more.
My step Dad spent the day in the hospital with a nasty kidney infection.
We have MRSA and strep throat going around at work in addition to pneumonia.
If the huge brush pile isn't removed from the yard of our old house by, well, by yesterday we are gonna get a big fine from the city.
I am ready for a few quiet uneventful weeks. I am tired and I am tired of bad things happening.
On a lighter note, here are some random kid shorts from the day.
Sister figured out how to take off her diaper and has been doing so all day. We couldn't figure out where she was hiding them. Then Taylor sat down by the computer and found what is apparently now the dirty diaper storage shelf. The sliding tray on the desk where the keyboard would go if we weren't using a laptop.
This new hobby led to some interesting surprises around the house. She left a little pile of surprise on the floor in the family room. Luckily it was firm so it was easy to clean up. Cameron said it looked like a puppy. We were all a bit disturbed by that.
When I got home from work sister woke up and Cameron was already up because he was feeling sick. I decided to stick them both in the bath to try to bring Cam's fever down. After they got out sister peed all over the floor in the hallway and of course Cam walked right through it. Fun times!
I guess if you can come home from cleaning up after sick kids at work and then clean up more fluids from your own kids and still laugh about it things will be OK. When it's not funny anymore I will start to worry. Maybe I should worry that I think it is funny. Do all Moms find humor in such things? It must be a coping mechanism.
Update:
Cause of death was internal bleeding caused by injuries from falling out of a tree stand. He broke his pelvis and back. It's very sad.
Jeff had his follow up with the doctor today on his work injury. The doctor was very upset that he was fired. He said he has had other patients from that agency that had the same thing happen. He said he is submitting the paperwork for them to pay for 6 more sessions of PT and another MRI. The doctor said Jeff can not work in his current condition. The only possibility would be a desk job with absolutely no lifting. Even then he would need lots of breaks. So they have put in him a position of not being able to work. They aren't paying workers comp any longer because they fired him and he can't collect unemployment because he didn't work there long enough. The doctor asked if we have a lawyer yet. The whole situation sucks.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
It has been a sad happy busy day
I know my title doesn't make much sense but I will try to explain.
My baby sister Danielle is back in town for her wedding on the 7th. It is so fun having her here and getting to talk. The wedding is going to be wonderful. We have lots of family coming in and a big rehearsal dinner planned at our house. I am making the grooms cake and Mom has been sewing like a mad woman for weeks. She has made Dan's wedding dress and 4 bridesmaids dresses and 2 little girl dresses.
Dan is so gorgeous and happy and we are all so happy for her. I am very proud of her because, well for lots of reasons, she is starting a new job she loves. She is marring the man she loves and she is becoming a mommy. Her Husband-to-be has a two year old little girl from a former relationship and Dan is being a great mommy to her. She just jumped right in and accepted her new daughter into the family without hesitation. We all just love her; she is a really sweet little girl.
Kay tried on her dress today and she looks like a little princess. We have checked off a lot on the to do list but there is still tons ahead in the next few days. So this next week will be busy and lots of fun. That's the happy, busy part.
I am usually a really happy person. Even when things are tough I try to keep my spirits up. Today was a little hard and I am stressing. The 2 little ones have runny noses. Gross can't keep them clean runny noses. I am hoping they will clear up before the wedding.
I have a never ending to do list that I can't seem to make any progress on. If I do manage to cross something off it is replaced with 3 other items.
I have to return to work in 6 days and I didn't accomplish all that I wanted to while I was gone. How will I ever get things done when I am working again? It is sad that when you have time off to do work around the house you can't afford to do the work. When you go back to work you have the money but no time.
I am frustrated with the amount of time waisted with doctor appointments and insurance companies and waiting on hold to talk with both. It makes me crazy when they say they will call you back and don't or say they will do something for you and don't. Like I have time to play these games.
With all this you may be wondering how I have time to post. I should just get off the computer and get stuff done. Well, I do most of my posting at night while everyone else is sleeping. I just skip some sleep. Writing keeps me sane, helps me remember the good parts of the day or past and allows me some form of creativity. It's cheeper than psychotherapy.
The thing I am most sad about, and probably why all the other little things are getting to me, is that my Father-in-Law is still in the hospital. It is really not looking good. They don't think he will make it much longer and he seems to have given up. He is in pain, they had to intubate him and it really messed up his lungs. It hurts him to breath and he is struggling just to get a little bit of oxygen. He is tired. He called in lawyers today to come to the hospital and get his affairs in order. I think he just wants to be done and not hurting/struggling anymore. He is talking about who he wants to leave his belongings to. I hate the whole process. I don't like to think about who gets what but I know it has to be dealt with.
I don't like to think about dying. He isn't really very old yet. He should be around so much longer. It makes me mad. It is just like my Grandpa. He was only 62 when he died but he smoked most of his life. I wish there were no more cigarettes in the world. Don't we have enough people dying without introducing more disease into the population. It is just frustrating.
I need to go get some cleaning done so I will quit ranting about the evils of the cigarette companies for now.
I will try to leave on a happy note though. I saw a humming bird in our back yard today. It was really cool. Now I want to get a feeder and see if he will come back.
Here is a little something from each of the kids:
Taylor taught me a new word. Fapping-spending a lot of time on the computer posting, blogging, and chatting. He says it is the sound the keyboard makes when you get to typing really fast in a very computer nerdy way. He informed me I am a big computer nerd and fap a lot. I choose to take that as a compliment.
Cam looked at me today and asked in all seriousness "Can I put my brain back in my head?" My reply was "By all means please do. I like your brain inside your head."
Kay was walking around eating a waffle and went into the bathroom and set it down on top of the toilet seat. This prompted me to say another one of those comments you never imagine you will need to utter until you have kids, "No eating toilet waffles!!"
I have to draw the line somewhere and eating off of the toilet is the spot. Eating off the floor-not desirable but OK. Eating off the toilet-not acceptable and I don't care if it has just been cleaned.
My baby sister Danielle is back in town for her wedding on the 7th. It is so fun having her here and getting to talk. The wedding is going to be wonderful. We have lots of family coming in and a big rehearsal dinner planned at our house. I am making the grooms cake and Mom has been sewing like a mad woman for weeks. She has made Dan's wedding dress and 4 bridesmaids dresses and 2 little girl dresses.
Dan is so gorgeous and happy and we are all so happy for her. I am very proud of her because, well for lots of reasons, she is starting a new job she loves. She is marring the man she loves and she is becoming a mommy. Her Husband-to-be has a two year old little girl from a former relationship and Dan is being a great mommy to her. She just jumped right in and accepted her new daughter into the family without hesitation. We all just love her; she is a really sweet little girl.
Kay tried on her dress today and she looks like a little princess. We have checked off a lot on the to do list but there is still tons ahead in the next few days. So this next week will be busy and lots of fun. That's the happy, busy part.
I am usually a really happy person. Even when things are tough I try to keep my spirits up. Today was a little hard and I am stressing. The 2 little ones have runny noses. Gross can't keep them clean runny noses. I am hoping they will clear up before the wedding.
I have a never ending to do list that I can't seem to make any progress on. If I do manage to cross something off it is replaced with 3 other items.
I have to return to work in 6 days and I didn't accomplish all that I wanted to while I was gone. How will I ever get things done when I am working again? It is sad that when you have time off to do work around the house you can't afford to do the work. When you go back to work you have the money but no time.
I am frustrated with the amount of time waisted with doctor appointments and insurance companies and waiting on hold to talk with both. It makes me crazy when they say they will call you back and don't or say they will do something for you and don't. Like I have time to play these games.
With all this you may be wondering how I have time to post. I should just get off the computer and get stuff done. Well, I do most of my posting at night while everyone else is sleeping. I just skip some sleep. Writing keeps me sane, helps me remember the good parts of the day or past and allows me some form of creativity. It's cheeper than psychotherapy.
The thing I am most sad about, and probably why all the other little things are getting to me, is that my Father-in-Law is still in the hospital. It is really not looking good. They don't think he will make it much longer and he seems to have given up. He is in pain, they had to intubate him and it really messed up his lungs. It hurts him to breath and he is struggling just to get a little bit of oxygen. He is tired. He called in lawyers today to come to the hospital and get his affairs in order. I think he just wants to be done and not hurting/struggling anymore. He is talking about who he wants to leave his belongings to. I hate the whole process. I don't like to think about who gets what but I know it has to be dealt with.
I don't like to think about dying. He isn't really very old yet. He should be around so much longer. It makes me mad. It is just like my Grandpa. He was only 62 when he died but he smoked most of his life. I wish there were no more cigarettes in the world. Don't we have enough people dying without introducing more disease into the population. It is just frustrating.
I need to go get some cleaning done so I will quit ranting about the evils of the cigarette companies for now.
I will try to leave on a happy note though. I saw a humming bird in our back yard today. It was really cool. Now I want to get a feeder and see if he will come back.
Here is a little something from each of the kids:
Taylor taught me a new word. Fapping-spending a lot of time on the computer posting, blogging, and chatting. He says it is the sound the keyboard makes when you get to typing really fast in a very computer nerdy way. He informed me I am a big computer nerd and fap a lot. I choose to take that as a compliment.
Cam looked at me today and asked in all seriousness "Can I put my brain back in my head?" My reply was "By all means please do. I like your brain inside your head."
Kay was walking around eating a waffle and went into the bathroom and set it down on top of the toilet seat. This prompted me to say another one of those comments you never imagine you will need to utter until you have kids, "No eating toilet waffles!!"
I have to draw the line somewhere and eating off of the toilet is the spot. Eating off the floor-not desirable but OK. Eating off the toilet-not acceptable and I don't care if it has just been cleaned.
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